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Fishing Stories, Sayings and Jokes
What is the difference between a catfish and a lawyer?
One is a bottom-dwelling, scum-sucking scavenger and the other is a fish!
Q. What did the fish say when it hit it's head on the concrete wall?
Two fools go fishing. They catch a lot of fish and return to the shore.
1st fool: I hope you remember the spot where we caught all those fish.
2nd fool: Yes, I made an 'X' on the side of the boat to mark the spot.
1st fool: You idiot! How do you know we'll get the same boat?
Fisherman #1: Hey Joe, are you going fishing?
Fisherman #2: Yeah!
Fisherman #1: Ya got worms?
Fisherman #2: Yeah, but I'm still going!
I went to (insert name of local sporting goods store) and got a new
rod and reel for my wife.....pretty good trade, don't ya think?
A priest was walking along the cliffs at Dover when he came upon two locals
pulling another man ashore on the end of a rope.
"That's what I like to see," said the priest, "A man helping his fellow man."
As he was walking away, one local remarked to the other, "Well, he sure doesn't
know the first thing about shark fishing."
No one in this town could catch any fish except this one man. The game warden
asked him how he did it. The man told the game warden that he would take him
fishing the next day. Once they got to the middle of the lake the man took out
a stick of dynamite, lit it, and threw it in the water. After the explosion
fish started floating to the top of the water. The man took out a net and started
picking up the fish. The game warden immediately declared,"I'm placing you under
arrest for illegal fishing!" The man smiled, took out another stick of dynamite and lit it.
He then handed it to the game warden and asked "Are you gonna talk all day or are you gonna fish?".
A couple of young guys were fishing at their special pond off the beaten track when
out of the bushes jumped the game warden! Immediately, one of the boys threw his rod
down and started running through the woods and hot on his heels came the game warden.
After about a half mile, the guy stopped and stooped over with his hands on his thighs
to catch his breath and the game warden finally caught up to him. "Let's see yer fishin
license, boy!" the warden gasped. With that, the guy pulled out his wallet and gave the
game warden a valid fishing license. "Well, son," said the Game Warden. "You must be
about as dumb as a box of rocks! You don't have to run from me if you have a valid license!"
"Yes sir," replied the young feller. "But my friend back there, well, he don't have one."
We took my four-year-old granddaughter, Maria, fishing for the first time. When she caught
a fish, she was really excited. But her mother took the fish off the hook and threw it back
into the lake. The same thing happened again, with Maria saying nothing. At lunch, Maria
prayed, thanking God for letting her catch the fish. Then she asked, "Pleeeeeze, dear God,
let me catch a dead one so I can keep it.
Kent and three of his buddies have gone fishing every Saturday for nearly forty years.
One Saturday, the guys are fishing along a highway when a funeral processional drives by.
Well, Kent lays down his pool, stands up in the boat, takes off his lucky hat and places
it over his heart. This processional is huge and takes nearly five minutes to pass. Once
it passes, Kent sits down, puts his hat on and cast out without saying a word. Needless
to say his buddies are floored by his actions. One of em finally speaks up and says,
"that sure was a respectful thing you did there when they went by." Kent replied,
"It seems the least I could do seeing as how I've been married to the woman for
over forty years!"
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